Can a relationship survive & thrive after an affair?
When one partner finds out that the other has cheated, there is a devastation felt that one can only understand if they have experienced it. In that moment, or for days, or months, following it can feel that there is no hope of ever feeling normal again or for the relationship to recover to where it was before the dreaded D-Day of finding out about the affair.
In this time of heartbreak and grief, it’s even harder to imagine that the relationship has the chance of becoming better than it ever was before.
I have had the pleasure of seeing broken relationships turned into the strongest, happiest relationships ever. It takes love, effort, forgiveness and empathy from both partners, but it is very possible. Forgiveness isn’t always easy, but it is so powerful. I am honored to work with couples as they salvage their relationships.
“You can either fall apart or fall back together.” -Dodie Rorick
Empathy creates connection, intimacy and happiness for couples
Empathy is ultimately important in a healthy relationship. Today, people find empathy to almost be a negative word or a weakness, which may in part, be part of the problem with the strength and connection of so many marriages and relationships these days.
To empathize means to understand how the other feels, or where they are coming from, or why they may respond some of the ways they do. To stop and take the time to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and come from a place of empathy and compassion, instead of blame or criticism, is a beautiful gift and a powerful tool to enhance and improve your relationship and happiness together.
I go deep into empathy when I work with couples because it is so foreign for many people today. Once you learn how to put these action steps into place perception of everything and everyone changes. Everyone wants to be understood and accepted, and when both people in the relationship can give that mutually, it’s beautiful and rewarding.
Feeling disconnected and lonely in your relationship?
It’s easy for couples to lose their connection if they are not protecting it and working on keeping the communication, bonding and FUN at the forefront of their priorities. It can feel strange to almost feel like strangers, or not know how to bring up the conversation of how to improve things. Or, sometimes if the communication has gotten very unhealthy and the conversations end in arguing or fighting, then the distance and resentments can grow.
I work with couples to help them gain the tools and strategies to put in place and work as a team to regain their connection, and communicate in healthy and productive ways. Having a spouse or partner is meant to give a feeling of safety, security and happiness. With the right action steps, regaining comfort and fulfillment to new levels can be achieved.
“There is no deeper loneliness than being in a lonely relationship.” -Dodie Rorick
The importance of date night
Date nights are really important to keep things fresh in a relationship. They don’t have to cost a lot, but the more thought or effort you put into them periodically, the more fulfilled your partner and you will both feel.
Sometimes it’s easy to get in a rut of going to the same regular local spots you always go or watching your separate TV shows in different rooms on a Saturday night. But, those things rarely feel like a revitalizing time that gets your sizzle going.
Try surprising one another by planning a date completely out of your normal routines. This can be a fun, hip restaurant you’ve never been to or a place that has live music and dancing. It can also be a romantic picnic in front of the fire at home with some great music going to see what the mood leads to.
The possibilities are endless, and it’s always fun to do something different. When I work with couples we work at making a ‘new picture' of their new relationship. I encourage them to learn each other’s wants and desires so it’s mutually fulfilling and full of fun and adventure.