Hi, I'm Dodie Rorick, a relationship and intimacy coach. I'm thrilled that you have stumbled across my site! I get questions all the time, and one question I got this week is, to me, one of the most important and difficult questions to ask.
“Can my relationship survive after an affair?”
The answer is it absolutely can. I'm certainly not going to sit here and diminish the difficulties or the pain of surviving post affair and infidelity but I want you to know that there is absolutely hope.
There is absolutely all kinds of ways you have the right tools and the right guidance to take trauma in a relationship and turn it into the biggest triumph that your relationship has ever had. If you do that, then the depth, the bonding and the unity that you can accomplish can make you have the absolute marriage of your dreams and that's the goal.
There are definitely some components that we have to talk about. If one of the people are still having an affair then you can't move forward. The affair absolutely has to be 100% ended. Both parties have to love each other and want to regrow their bond, trust and intimacy.
The person who got cheated on, as hard as it sounds and even if you don't know how to do it, you have to at least be open and want to be able to forgive the other person. This doesn't mean you know how to do it right away, it just means “I don't know how to yet but if you please help me I absolutely want to do that.”
The person who did the cheating, you have a big responsibility as well. You've got to understand in a deep way, the pain that you created. You have to be willing to put that person's heart back together piece by piece.
I tell you what; once you do the work to survive infidelity, you just have no idea the most beautiful, glorious relationship you can have. I really recommend that if you are in this situation, and this is what your life is right now, please don't wait.
Whether it's my program or someone else's, make sure that you stop what you're doing today and started on a new beautiful journey.
Every day that you wait, it will get harder and harder. I ask you to find it your heart to get started and repair your relationship in every way you can. For yourself, your spouse, your kids, for everyone involved and at the very least regain your friendship and be able to leave each other with harmony.